Writer's Note: Mirium

 This story was written in a single sitting a couple of years back, with ideas that seed back to my teenage years and accumulating through my writing and reading or viewing of variant media.

I have a habit of taking a break from novels, or other large body works, and writing short stories exploring different ideas or voices or things that a larger narrative, by nature of it's development, stops me from doing. This puts off writers block. Here I wanted to expand upon multiple voices in narrative, which many fantasy fans like and perhaps even expect but which can often be critiqued as a cast that is too large and unnecessary to story. Much like statements achieved through investigation; sometimes they are pertinent to the issue, you have to filter narratives, look for lies, or mistakes, personal tics and conflicts, you get a lot of random information and the initial statements, producing leads, are often brief in script if not in meeting. I had also received some critique in relation to script, and though an earlier script of mine was made into a T.V show, written for a directorial drama project at A Level, that was a brief political satire and told in escalating rounds and was banned from my school and led to a brief suspension. I wanted to explore the power of characterisation that can be achieved with speech but stripped back of any extra narrative. It is quite possibly relatively unique. Please do link me if you know of similar.

The final section is a teaser for world setting. This may or may not mean what you think it means.

During GCSE as part of the course you have to write a short story; our prompt was homelessness. In my story a girl tells what is an obvious lie, that her parents are from Charmed and runs away. She meets other homeless kids and the story gets a bit heart-breaking exploring the real dangers of that situation and deeper societal intersections, with a lot of continued references to other fictions. I got a good grade, and it may still be available through the Extra Materials on that course though there was some consideration given to whether it would be accepted due to the hard hitting and graphic content such as racism, sexual assault, coerced sex work, violence, drug usage and murder. I pointed out we had studied Of Mice and Men, and The Handmaid's Tale.

That is Bea's origin story.

At that time I was a Vampire and later Pard leader on the Anita Blake forum. Stephanie Meyer was also on the forum, though she was friends with the few zealots we had on the board and so not particularily popular shall we say though we all offered her support during that difficult time in her life. I am not going to gossip here but it is common knowledge that she was in an abusive relationship; she has made her own statements in that regard. On the forum we all stood firmly against abuse. She was about 20, I think, and I was 15-16. We were both starting our first books. There was a writers section on the boards where we shared and commented on one another's work. Other writers were very much better than both of us, though I did receive some supportive feedback.

My story was of a teenage girl called Ilyana, who was in attendance at high school, studious, clever, a bit of an outcast but in the geek way and was haunted by memories of the past and a sensation of more. She meets some older guys who are vampires. In an other chapter there is a murder in an alley by a revenant. The plan was for her to realise that the vampires were old loves of hers from a past life, one in which she had died caught in the plot of the bad guys who were creating the revenants and was predicted to be born again. She always has the power to see through the blood memory of her past lives and with vampires to enact a form of time travel. As the story progressed it was to be revealed to be an overlapping timeline where they had already travelled back in time to prevent her death and the bad guys attaining power, even as they fought to do the same in the life we are initially introduced to. Fate, or could they find that changing point....does she even want to, to give up everything she loves in this life, her experiences, her self, for the ghost of a future and earlier life that led to so much suffering? I wrote a few chapters.

On the forum we discussed many things, including our personal experiences and shared cultural histories and politics. Another group there was the Werewolves, some of whom are tribes as I am. We forged a good peace together, later. 

Meyer and the Zealots would often ask many questions or tell us we were evil for not being christian. They were racist. A few of them got banned. At some points she sought to distance herself from them and we gave her chances, but ultimately she sided with them again only offering scant differentiation such as she would not harass people if they supported abortion or had sex before marriage. She continued to hold beliefs that a husband owned his wife. They caused many fights with me and I asked others to continue support as it was not helpful for us to talk given her circumstances and my refusal by abused either. Many other people also made this request and she was given support, but faded into the background as everyone wanted to move on. We struggled with some very serious issues, including some of our friends being targeted and murdered by serial killers. May you rest in peace. We aided the investigation and they were caught. Maybe I will tell that story another time, but this is not the place for it I feel.

She stole my work posted to the forum. It was noted at the time, weirdly I think one of the Were hyenas told me. Like on the Buffy forum we had a lot of trouble with them and I helped to negotiate and support a re-application of matriarchy in their group. That also spread to the Buffy forums, in direct fuck you to the way men had been trying to uphold the abusive patriarchy as found in that episode of Buffy. I'm also the Fae Vampire Kitten in Britain that opened the Hellmouth online. Hey, Spike.

Anyway, the book was lost in a totally unrelated incident when the family computer broke down due to a split hard drive. Or something. I think some copies are preserved somewhere, including in the depths of the forum. I'm Midnight~Magic, or m~m.

Years later Twilight came out and someone gave me a copy. I forced myself to read it. And yeah sure there were my chapters, the wolves, and even some of our life stories in very strange forms. Such as my trip to Italy and argument with the Pope and Cardinals, with the weird holy roller vamps later on in the series. Not read that but saw the bit in the film and it was really weird. I know from my tribes links that her cult connections smoothed the way through publication and film contracts and due to her previous racism and the manufactured popularity via expensive marketing schemes they wanted to get involved and ensure good representation for us. Some of the old wolves from the boards chatted and coached the actors. Unofficially, from her perspective. From ours? The wolves in that series are part of the pack from the forums and thus it is fan cannon that Twilight and Anita Blake are in the same verse. Possibly so is Buffy. Or, at least there is some dodgy portal stuff going on; as covered in Angel. How's that for a head fuck. Arguably...so is Charmed. **sprinkles faerie dust around**

Anita Blake continues to be the grubby mirror.

I continued reading fantasy, always home for me, but grew increasingly critical, as Laurel is, of the content of paranormal romance. Twilight is not the only book guilty of using paranormal elements to justify patriarchal norms, including feminine and subdigating values. A focus on objectification, relationships, normalising abusive relationships and giving in to the harmful status qou even if they are supposedly kick ass and that is often dependant on male interactions or permissions, or not actually very kick ass at all, or their innate indoctrinated flaws as women cause the problems they face or, worse, are the constant solution. They way these narratives often shallowly hide agendas. The way YA style has become a predominant voice, treating teens and adults in an infantile way and seeking to target impressionable youth. The apparent hunger for it, trending in publishing, and promoting a heavy editorial style that irons out uniqueness, simplifies plots and is often very reliant on plagiarism and a well greased marketing machine.

At best it is tedious and at worst everything that campaigns such as #DiversityinSFF stood against but was also partly hijacked by. Now in brown or black version! With added gayness, but only if there is allusion to conversion therapy! Have you considered your morality? How about you just go Ace instead! All trans people have abusive backgrounds and/or love fucking cutesy shit! It is definitely kick ass to pose a lot as you have fantasies about which one of two boys you will kiss. Spread that basic three act structure across a trilogy, make some middle market chum to be later stashed en masse in charity shops and the fed to the fires and pulpers, who the fuck even needs tree's, and isn't Farenheight 451 the dream?

Fuck yeah.

So Ilyana looked in the mirror, merged with that origin story, this story, and....Bea happened.

I fucking love the mental bitch.

That verse is formed of the above critique and extends modern the reference style of the origin story with a Tarantino and Fight Club slap in the face. What the fuck even is real?

The story continues in Diary of Darkness, written in, you guessed it, diary style on a break from Of Bloody Reflections... where Bea moves into a shared house and things turn bad, fast. There's a tight plot and a lot of confrontation. Trigger warnings always apply to this series. This short story can be found in Only Femme. Unfortunately cannot link directly now as Amazon has malfunctioned and my books have been deleted. Will link when it is sorted. Or maybe just post that particular story here later...ah fuck it. It will be up later.

After that was published on my old blog, a weird thing happened when Meyer and I were chucked together for a chat and Laurel made an appearance. Meyer initially denied knowing who I was but enough Vamps, Leopards, Hyenas, Rats, Faeries and Wolves raised an eyebrow or metaphysical grandt stand or two and the truth came out a little bit. I had never really followed her personal story and during this some of the conflicts in her lies and truth regarding the abusive relationship came out. I think she was trying to avoid the plagiarism issue. A load of the usual trolls started giving her shit and just as we had always done we supported her in that. No one, ever, should be abused. Her fans spoke up too, and I gotta say I'm impressed with them. I had worried, given the content, but they are actually kinda cool and we gave some honorary acceptances into pack and pard. Apparently it's our stuff the fans love any way.

After that? Well, I hand wrote and illustrated the next book in a blood red fabric hard cover financial notebook I found in a skip: Into the Shadows. The story picks up a few years after DoD and, yes, Master is still with her. Bea has become a feminist anti-hero and be prepared for gore, mayhem, lots of fucking and a twisted perspective. However there is only this single copy and I lent that to an inmate at Hellesdon asylum. It got confiscated by the staff and stolen back. I had been sectioned for having a seizure, and was abruptly transferred. That copy is still out there in last known possession of a white guy called Adey, who often wears a turban in a sort of hip hop eco warrior way. Perhaps you will find him near The Stranger's Door. #Quest

I want that copy back one day, but if it passes underground from hand to hand first this is part of the narrative.

I have written a few more stories that I shall type up later and which occur after Mirium. You will meet the investigator and a few loose ends will be tied up. So will Bea.

Dirty.

Seriously, those illustrations get very...explicit.

This dark verse is not for the faint hearted.